Saturday, 14 February 2015

Mind The Gap


After a one week absence our Prime Minister makes a reappearance. There was a problem for Tony during the week. But story that will be forgotten about soon and let's not speak about it anyway, especially you Bill Shorten. And anyway we shouldn't have that problem in a years time, because Tony has promised us that a good government is coming.


Edition 4

Cosmo Abbott
- It's French For Yogurt
- The Sledging Of Joyce Mayne By The Coward Alan Lambert


Cosmo Abbott

There's an episode of Seinfeld where Kathy Griffin's character starts tells unflattering stories about Jerry in her show, much to Jerry's annoyance. In the same episode Kramer takes a vow of silence, which he breaks to tell Kathy more stories about Jerry. When Jerry realises the betrayal, Kramer reaffirms his vow of silence with '...All right...starting now'.

Last week Tony Abbott said 'Good government starts today'. He's been in power for about 18 months.

Later in the week the annual Closing The Gap Report, a strategy aimed at reducing Indigenous disadvantage, was tabled in the Australian parliament. Of the 6 initiatives there was improvements in 2, infant mortality rates and indigenous children finishing high school. It's fair to say the rest didn't make good reading. The gaps in life expectancy and health have barely moved. The rate of suicide is 4-5 times higher than in the wider community. There has been little improvements in literacy and numeracy rates.

During the speeches in the parliament re the Report, 6 government members walked out. Apparently those who walked did so not because they were embarrassed about the fact that we have a large part of our population who suffer such major disadvantages compared to the rest of country. Instead they were appalled that Bill Shorten', the Opposition leader, showed a lack of bipartisan support towards our treatment of the indigenous population, when he questioned the role that over $500 million in spending cuts to certain indigenous programs might played in the poor results.

But it's ok. I'm sure next years report will make for better reading because Tony has promised us good government...all right...starting now!


It's French For Yogurt

Apparently the British accent was recently voted the sexiest accent in the world. The rest of the top 5, in order were: American; Irish; Australian; and French.

But what exactly is a British accent? Welsh? Upper class London? East London? Glaswegian? Scouse? Brummie? Surely not Brummie!

For as things stand it means that this

And this

Are sexier than this

Sacre Bleu!


The Sledging Of Joyce Mayne By The Coward Alan Lambert

During a bike ride on the weekend the name of Joyce Mayne got mentioned. For those to young remember, or who don't live in Australia, she ran a chain of electrical stores from the late 1970s to the mid 1990s, until they became part of the Harvey Norman chain. I found an article today that said she did own the stores, I always thought she was just an advertising front for the real owner, say like Peter Wynn is for Peter Wynn's Score.

Part of the reason why I thought she didn't really own them, was because Joyce lived in apartment in North Parramatta, just behind where we lived. It was hardly a salubrious neighbourhood. One day when I was about 13, she walked past the laundromat where I was playing a sit down Space Invaders machine. There were about a dozen of us there and when Joyce walked past, in unison we shouted a line from one of her ads, 'Get lost Jeeves'. We thought it was very funny.

Anyway Joyce didn't take kindly to this. For some reason I got targeted and she asked me my name. Like the coward I was I replied 'I don't know'. Anyway she told us that rudeness like this was why her friend and then top Sydney jockey, didn't talk to strangers.

I know I'm not such a coward now. Years ago when I worked at Centrelink, during a telephone conversation with a manager I gave him a rather blunt assessment of his performance. At some point he told me that I was a coward and wouldn't have the courage to say that with other people around. So as we spoke I typed up what I had said and emailed it to him (thinking about that now, that might have been more stupid than brave).

Whilst I'm braver with strangers or people I don't know very well or Centrelink managers, something else happened on the ride that affirmed that I'm still a coward when dealing with family, or friends or work colleagues who have done something out of line.

When searching for info on Joyce I came across this Joyce Mayne. You need to go about half way down for the bit about her. It has a mention of a book, Joycie's Winning Ways, that I remembered that she had published about gambling and how winning was all in the stars. I don't think it sold very well.


Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Here's Looking At You, Harry Kane

Here's Looking At You, Harry Kane

Edition 3

Wouldn't It Be Nice To Get On With Your Neighbours
- You Must Remember This
- Maybe Even More Than 50 Shades
- If There's One Thing That Annoys Me...


Wouldn't It Be Nice To Get On With Your Neighbours

A few years ago I went a Spurs friendly with my uncle and a couple of other people. My uncle is an intelligent man and is more of a football fan than a Spurs fan. When the chant of 'Stand up if you hate Arsenal' started up he proclaimed 'why do you have to hate Arsenal to support Spurs'? I didn't stand up.

My Dad used to be a Spurs fan who went to the famous last game of the 1970/71 between Tottenham & Arsenal at White Hart Lane, although apparently he didn't get in. He tells me now that he likes Arsenal, and I don't know if he really likes them or if he is just trying to wind me up. Last year I went to my first football game with my Dad in over 30 years, a preseason friendly between Cambridge United & Tottenham. When the 'stand up if you hate Arsenal' chant started, I made him stand up. I hoped the next time he thought about smiling about an Arsenal victory, he might remember his declaration that he hated them. 

I didn't always hate Arsenal. At the school I went to in North London, there were a load of Gooners, almost as many as Spurs fans. Arsenal fans in England are largely people like me and those in my family who support Spurs, albiet they are probably more nicer suburbs of London. On the other hand Arsenal fans I have come across in Australia, and mainly through the internet, are the pits (although the anonymity that the net provides often brings out the worst in people).  

Growing up even though Arsenal were more successful than Spurs, they were known as boring, boring Arsenal and they had the reputation of grinding out one-nil wins. On the other hand, whilst Spurs were thought of as being a bit soft, they were known for playing attractive football.

Then just as the Premier League was starting we got bought by Alan Sugar. Not only didn't he like football I think it was clear he didn't understand football or how it was changing. As money started to flood into English football and teams like Arsenal & Chelsea bought top foreign players like Dennis Bergkamp and Gianfranco Zola for about 5 million pounds, Sugar's distrust of 'Carlos Kickerballs', as he called foreign players, meant instead we paid about 4 million pounds for the likes of Chris Armstrong & Ruel Fox. And then in the mid 1990s the Gooners got Arsene Wenger as their manager. Now they were not only winning things they were playing attractive football, whilst we not only struggled but also played dull & boring football. That was a miserable decade.

As I got older I learned more about the history of both clubs. Without getting into all of the details if the clubs were school houses at Hogwarts, Spurs would be Gryffindor & Arsenal would be Slytherin. Well that's how I see it. Anyway what had gone from a mild dislike of Arsenal has turned into a hatred of them.

Last Saturday night, our time, was the latest chapter in the rivalry. I hate calling it the North London derby, because I like to refer to Arsenal as a south London team and the Woolwich Wanderers as they moved to North London in 1913. And a load of us Spurs fans still hate them for it.

I had to decide watching the game as pub in town with fellow Spurs fans or watching at home. I would have loved to have watched it with fellow Spurs fans as cheering with other fans when we score is a such a wonderful feeling. Football clubs are like a defacto family to so many, and it's just a great feeling to share a great moment with other people who feel as passionately as you do. On the other hand a trip home if we lost and then bumping into some Gooners would have been unbearable. As it turned other factors came into play which meant I had to watch at home.

As for the game Spurs won 2-1 and played very well. For maybe the first time ever Arsene Wenger said we deserved to win (he once claimed they were the better team on a night we beat then 5-1). Bragging rights have been claimed and have been well used. Local-boy-turned-good Harry Kane scored twice, and a player who 18 months ago was copping a load of flak from a lot of Spurs fans, is now as popular as Harry Styles is with 1D fans. 

All is good in the world. Even the Spurs fan who complain incessantly on the Spurs groups I'm part of are happy. I wish we weren't playing for a couple of weeks so we could hold onto this feeling for a bit longer. But we play Liverpool in the morning and a loss with bring out the usual suspects complaining about chairman Daniel Levy but at least we'll always have last Saturday.


You Must Remember This

I got to see most of Casablanca again on the weekend. I missed Bill Collins introduction, which I would have enjoyed seeing. As for Bill, I can't ever remember him as a young man and he's looking especially old now. Still it's good to see him on TV again.

I think there should be a rule that no love story movie should be allowed to run over 102 minutes, because that is how long Casablanca ran for, And the chance of any movie being better than Casablanca, is about as likely as Rob Schneider ever winning the Oscar for best actor..

My 5 favourite quotes from Casablanca: 

5.
Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot

4. 
Annina: Monsieur Rick, what kind of man is Captain Renault?
Rick: Oh, he's like any other man, only more so.

3.
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name bought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert!
Rick: I was misinformed.

2.
Rick: I remember every detail. The German's wore grey, you wore blue.

1.
Rick: We'll always have Paris.


Maybe Even More Than 50 Shades

Talking of great love stories, 50 Shades of Grey opens next week. I opened with a putdown for a reason.

I went to dinner for a friends birthday during the week, at which the Lisa Thatcher, blogger/movie critic/women's romance/erotic novelist was also present (I really should have asked for some tips about writing a blog). Anyway Lisa gave a very interesting and funny defence of 50 Shades from a leftist/women's right perspective. Lisa asserted that, sure, it is badly written, but for any 'fantasy' book to be successful there has to be an obvious disconnect between the story and reality. Also 50 Shades has been vilified & ridiculed to an extent that badly written books or bad movies that are aimed at men are not, such as the James Bond movies, the Hangover series or 300.

Anyway I thought it was a thought provoking conversation. I'll give a link to Lisa's blog and her article on why she is looking forward to seeing the movie.

http://lisathatcher.com/2015/02/05/why-i-cant-wait-to-see-50-shades-of-grey-article/


And for those who haven't read the book and don't plan to see the movie, here is the condensed version of 50 Shades that gave me a chuckle

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/apr/29/fifty-shades-grey-digested-read





If There's One Thing That Annoys Me...

My belief that tasers should be inserted into the self-serve checkouts at supermarkets increased during the week. My idea is that people who take too long get a shock as a penalty. They would continue to get shocks the longer they take, with the voltage increasing. Also everybody would have to swipe the reward card before using the self-serve, so that past offenders can be identified and be dealt with harshly if they again stuff up. I think those people who annoy me by taking too long, would soon get the message that maybe they should be using the cashiers.

I also think a tasers should be incorporated into mobile phones, and activated on owners who walk incredibly slowly along busy streets/paths as they read their phone. Those people who get in others way, as they stand obliviously on busy streets reading their phones, would get even bigger shocks. 
I think I'll write to Woolies, Coles, Apple & Samung with my idea. Taking a leaf out of Ab Simpson's book, I'll finish my letter with 'P.s. I'm not a crackpot'.




Saturday, 31 January 2015

You Don't Vote For Kings...Or Taylor Swift

You Don't Vote For Kings...Or Taylor Swift

What a sporting feast I am in the middle of. On Thurdsay morning went to a Sydney pub to see Spurs (just) win a League Cup semi final. On Friday went to Blacktown to see the Blue Sox in the play in the Australian Baseball League playoffs. On Saturday it was out to Olympic Park to see the Socceroos become the champions of Asian football and then followed that up by staying up to see Spurs beat West Brom. This weekend the Auckland Nines have been on as have the finals of the Australian Open tennis. The Wanderers are playing in Melbourne tonight and I believe Australia play England in the final of the one day cricket triangular series in Perth. And on Monday there is the Superbowl. Such a fantastic sporting smorgasbord that only occurs once in a lifetime. Or at least only once every 2 or 3 months.


Edition 2

Queenslander!
A Courageous Decision Prime Minister
A Ladies Man
Humdrum
Do Yourself a Favour


Queenslander!

In 1975, in what turned out to be the last days of the Whitlam government, Senator Ron McAuliffe invited Gough Whitlam to attend the Brisbane rugby league grand final. As they made there way out to the middle there was a chorus of boos and beer cans were hurled in their direction. As they walked off Lang Park, Whitlam turned to his companion and said 'McAuliffe don't ever invite me to a place where you are so unpopular'.

During the recent Queensland state election campaign the LNP wanted Tony Abbott nowhere near Queensland. Indeed I think they would rather have had Paul Gallen campaign on their behalf than the Prime Minister. And anytime a PM is effectively banned from a state election campaign, it signals that their reign as PM is drawing to a close.

At the last Queensland election the ALP got routed, winning just 7 of 89 seats. Today they look likely to be back in government following Saturday's election. No undoubtedly state issues have played a major part in the downfall of the Campbell Newman government. However so has the unpopularity of the Federal Government.

Tony Abbott is an altogether different type of politician than say Bob Carr or John Howard, where their desire to get votes seemed to over ride any strong beliefs that they held. I can imagine them shipping of their elderly mother off to a Siberian gulag if they were advised there was any votes in it. I can picture their discussions with their pollsters 'So 100 people said this would cause them to vote for us and only 99 said they would turn against us. Interesting. And what were the results in the marginal seats?'

On the other hand if Tony Abbott made such a decision regarding his mother it would be for very different reasons. Now I still don't fully understand all of Tony Abbott's reasoning, but I can see him discussing the decision with his family 'Look I tried to get Nanna a scholarship in a nursing home, but I couldn't find one. Now it's expensive to put her into a nursing home and let's face it old people don't contribute any economic worth to Australia. On the other hand it will only cost us a few rubles to put her into a Siberian gulag and they have told me that they have comprehensive work program. And you know Nanna likes to stay active'.

Ok that is a bit far fetched. Because we know Tony Abbott doesn't like to consult with people before making decisions. Which gets us onto.

A Courageous Decision Prime Minister

I'm not a fan of the Imperial award system. It's a horrible relic of the British class system and is a constant reminder to us commoners of who our betters are. Luckily Australia scrapped this system decades ago.

However last year Tony Abbott reintroduced them. I was upset because not only was this not only made us look like a bunch of backward looking colonial hicks but this had never been raised during the previous election campaign and was not Liberal Party policy.

As it turned out the Prime Minister did not discuss this with his cabinet or party. Now it did upset some people but as an issue in terms of importance it lags well behind national security issues, or education policy or health polices or environmental issues etc. It's hardly an issue that would cause people to change their votes and most of the people it upset were unlikely to vote for the Liberal party anyway.

The first people to receive their knighthoods and...what is the equivalent for dames? Surely it isn't a damehood? Anyway the first recipients were past and present Governor-Generals and this caused little public discontent.

Then on Australia Day two more were announced. The decision to award Angus Houston has received little public comment (and I think his name will be an answer at a few trivia nights in the next few weeks). However the decision to give a knighthood to Philip Windsor attracted much more comment. Now a knighthood of Australia is a prestigious title that would be a huge honour to a lot of people. I'm guessing it would mean more to an Australian than to say to a Greek man who lives in the UK. Also whilst it's a significant honour I'm not sure he will use the title when he's already known as Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth, Baron of Greenwich and Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark. In fact he's got about 20 aliases. I thought only conmen used that many names.

Anyway whilst the decision to reintroduce these titles upset only a few people, the decision to honour Prince Philip uspet a larger group known as 'Everybody in Australia not Called Tony Abbott'. I didn't even hear David Flint come out and support the decision. It also took the focus away from Rosie Batty being announced as Australian of the Year. It also came just after Tony Abbott promised his backbench that he would consult them more. After the discontent about Prince Philip, Tony Abbott has again promised to consult more with his colleagues. And this time he means it. He really does.

A Ladies Man

Our Governor-General Sir (hmmmpff) Peter Cosgrove missed the Australian Day ceremonies as he was in Saudi Arabia to pass on the government condolences following the passing of King Abdullah. The King received many tributes. Christine Lagarde the head of the International Monetary Fund called him 'a strong advocate of women'. She did qualify this by saying he did so 'in a discreet way'.

In Saudi Arabia there is a strict dress code for women that is rigorously policed. Women are not allowed to vote (although apparently they will be allowed to do so in the next municipal elections). There are no organised sport for women. Women need a man's permission to marry, open a bank account or see a doctor. Women's employment is severely restricted (although there have been a few minor improvements in recent years). And famously Saudi Arabia is the only country that bans women from diving. There are also serious allegations of mistreatment of a number of his daughters who advocated better rights for women in the Kingdom.

I'm not sure he really qualifies as strong advocate of women'. It sounds as ridiculous as making the Minister for Women a man who says thing like 'what the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing...'. Or the World Wildlife Fund having a man who likes to shoot birds as their first ever President. But that couldn't happen, could it?

Humdrum

The Queensland election was the second biggest poll in Australia this week, with the latest Triple J Hottest 100 being announced on Australia Day. Apparently it is the biggest such poll in the world.

The J's became my station in the late 80s. It was the only major station in Sydney that played acts like the Smiths, The The or Billy Bragg. And they ran some really interesting stories. It also had a strong left wing leaning. Not like some people find the Sydney Morning Herald or ABC TV news to be left wing. It wasn't even Guardian style left wing. It was a hard core left wing station.

Then it changed to being a youth station and became a national station rather than just a Sydney station. This changed the station but it was still my station. Then a more serious change continued to occur and that was that I got old, and being a youth station it was no longer my station. I might hear it for a minute or two when the alarm goes off but that's it for 364 days a year (although I have started listening to Double J on digital radio). However it still my station for one day of the year, Australia Day.

The big controversy this year was the decision to ban Taylor Swift from making the countdown, following a campaign by Taylor's fan, a fast food chain and some internet activists. Now Taylor Swift had never had a song played on the J's. To have allowed her to have made the list after the campaign that was run would have made a mockery of the poll. Also it would have encouraged similar campaigns in future years (as an aside it turned out the song that finished at #9 by Sia had never been played on the J's, even though plenty of her other songs had).

Anyway congratulations to Chet Faker for winning with Talk is Cheap. Can't say I've heard it but I will be buying the Hottest 100 cd. And I'll be listening to the song later today, because it's certain to be a question at trivia on Monday.

Do Yourself a Favour

And for no apparent reason here is my list of the best 20 pop songs from the 1980s from UK acts that did not make the top 40 in Australia. I've limited it one song per act.

20 Imagination Belouis Some
19 Happy Hour The Housemartins
18 2-4-6-8 Motorway Tom Robinson Band
17 It's My Life Talk Talk
16 Reward The Teardrop Explodes
15 Somewhere In My Heart Aztec Camera
14 Ghost Town The Specials
13 Forbidden Colours David Sylvian & Ryuchi Sakamoto
12 Papa's Got A Brand New Pigbag Pigbag
11 New Gold Dream Simple Minds
10 I'm In Love With A German Film Star The Passions
9 Welcome To The Pleasuredome Frankie Goes To Hollywood
8 Save A Prayer Duran Duran
7 Penthouse & Pavement Heaven 17
6 Don't Talk To Me About Love Altered Images
5 (Wishing) I Had A Photograph Of You A Flock Of Seagulls
4 The First Pictures Of You Lotus Eaters
3 Big Mouth Strikes Again The Smiths
2 Open Your Heart The Human League
1 Buoy Mick Karn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMOVfmJz_gA

Saturday, 24 January 2015

Girt By Sea

A few years ago a great man said that the internet gave everybody a chance to have their opinion heard. Ok it wasn't a great man, it was Gerry Harvey. And Gerry didn't think this was a good thing. I think Gerry believes it's much better to have the commercial TV stations run soft soft stories on say the owner of a large retail organisation, which spends a lot of money on these stations. Then that owner, lets call him Harvey Gerry, where that owner can express any thought that passes through his head, such as that theoretically they are not really in favour of 'helping a whole heap of no-hopers to survive for no good reason'.

Anyway here is my first edition. Future editions will be depend upon when I come across things that annoy or interest me (which is often); and I think others might find interesting (which is less often); and then by when I can be arsed typing it up (which will definitely be less often)

Edition 1


  • Young and Free
  • Advance Australia Fair?
  • Young and (not) Free


Young and Free

With Australia Day almost upon us, I want to give my choice for Australian of the Year. From what I've seen when other people do this is you have to name somebody who has absolutely no chance of winning. My favourite was the person in the Sydney Morning Herald letters page who some years ago wanted Michael Mori to be Australian of the Year. Mori was the man who some admirably served David Hicks whilst he was in gaoled at Guantanamo Bay. However the idea that the Australian of the Year could be won by a citizen of a foreign country, is almost as ridiculous as the idea of having a citizen of a foreign country being the Prime Minister of Australia.

Anyway my choice is Freya Newman.

Freya Newman was the young lady who was working part-time at the Whitehouse Institute of Design in 2011, when she learned that Frances Abbott, the daughter of the then opposition leader Tony Abbott, had been awarded a lucrative scholarship (about $60,000) by the Whitehouse Institute.

Ms Newman passed the details onto New Matilda and resigned from the Whitehouse Institute. New Matilda subsequently published the story. It turned out that this was only the second time that the Whitehouse Institute had offered such a scholarship, and that the scholarship was not advertised and that other students doing the course were not made aware of it.

Tony Abbott did not disclose the gift, and under parliamentary rules he didn't have to. But as the opposition leader and potential prime minister (of course he is now the Australian Prime Minister) he would be in position to make decisions that could greatly hurt or benefit the Whitehouse Institute. My view us that at a minimum he should have disclosed this news. However what he really should have done made it clear that his daughter could not accept the scholarship if there were any hint of impropriety in it being awarded to his daughter.

Well one of the people involved in the case was charged and ended up going to court. Of course that was Freya Newman. After the case ended and no conviction was made against Ms Newman, the Education Minster and mincing Poodle Christopher Pyne said 'I'm not convinced the sentence in the Freya Newman case sends a clear message that breaching another's privacy is wrong'.

However, luckily, our PM is a big fan of free speech. In the wake of the Charlie Hebdo killings he told us, 'I believe in free speech - I absolutely in free speech'. And he certainly does believe in the right of Andrew Bolt and Alan Jones to continue to make bigoted remarks (as they like to defend Mr Abbott, with Alan Jones once defending Mr Abbott by saying 'And I've known this bloke for a thousand years...'). However Mr Abbott is not so supportive on freedom speech as to appear on Q&A. Or to release information on the number of asylum seekers trying to come to Australia. Or to release proof that he has renounced his British citizenship and is actually eligible to be in the Australian parliament. Or to have stood up against the prosecution of Freya Newman.


Advance Australia Fair?


I've been considering writing a blog for a while now. The event that finally convinced that I actually should do it was the incident involving Australian cricketer Dave Warner and Indian cricketer Rohit Sharma. Amazingly this event was also a major cause in a friend starting a blog (whose account of the incident is fantastically written and is much funnier than mine).

I'll declare I'm not a fan of the Australian cricket team. I came to live in Australia in 1977 from England and whilst I do like a number of Australian national sporting teams, especially the Socceroos. I also other like the basketball and baseball teams as well as a number of individual sportsman. But if came down to the crunch and England and Australia met in the final of the football World Cup (ok a group game or possibly a round of 16 match is almost undoubtedly the latest they would meet) I'd be cheering for England.

I've never managed to like the cricket side, even if I did like some players. The main reason is I think they have looked like a bunch of unlikable bullies. In particular I find their sledging and some of their antics to be unacceptable.

I'm not against all sledging. I think the higher you go up the sporting chain the more acceptable it is. But always they has to be some common decency and the sledging should be about the game so 'Excuse me sir, but to my eye the flaws in your batting technique means that it is unlikely you will be laying willow upon the leather any time soon' is acceptable. As would be 'you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat'. Well assuming it was said in a test match and not in an under 8's game.

And certainly sledging is more prevalent in Australia. I was playing third grade in a Saturday morning comp against a team made up of players from a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre. Their opener scored a century. I along with most of our team started to applaud when one bloke on our team yelled out 'Don't clap him, that's the worst ton I've ever seen'! Staggering. Michael Clarke had a dig at Steve Smith for being too friendly with Pakatani batsman Azhar Ali during the recent series. Steve Smith later clarified 'I was actually getting into him (Ali). So it (the spray from Clarke) wasn't what I expected, but I guess that happens'. Oh you poor thing! You got abused on the cricket field! And not because you were being friendly, but because you were abusing a player from another team. That just isn't cricket, old chap.

Australian cricketers have an unwritten rules that any sledging is acceptable and that 'what happens on the field, stays on the field'. So like our PM they are in favour of free speech, however, just not all of the time. My view is that is that what is said on the field is fair game to be repeated later, and that if you are embarrassed by a person retelling what was said, you were almost certainly out of line in the first place.

The Australian batsman Matthew Hayden once wrote 'I tried to be subtle with my chirps, sometimes walking in the opposite direction when I spoke or covering my mouth'. When he said 'subtle' I think he meant in terms of not being caught rather than in terms of what was said. I take what he says as really meaning 'I was a coward with my chirps, sometimes walking in the opposite direction when I spoke or covering my mouth'.

Now onto Dave Warner. I love to watch him bat. And he has been in fantastic form for the last 18 months or so. Dave Warner is also a player I correctly predicted would have a good career (even when he couldn't make the NSW Sheffield Shield side). It's always nice to get one right and goes somewhere toward balancing the ledger for getting Matthew Elliott and Usman Khawaja wrong.

However I find his behaviour on and off the field to be unacceptable. The most famous incident involving his bad behaviour was when he punched English batsman Joe Root in a pub. What apparently provoked Warner was that Root was wearing one of those silly wigs as a beard and that Warner thought Root was taking the mick out of Hasham Amla. By all accounts Root certainly was not making fun of Amla, and that it was highly likely that Warner's judgement was impaired by the consumption of alcohol. Warner was suspended and missed the first two tests of the Ashes series. In my mind he should have been sent home and missed the whole series.

I read an interview with Warner a few years ago. I forget that the word was, but he used what in the movie 'Heathers' what would have been called a 50 cent word. But he totally botched it up. I got the impression he thought he was a philosopher-king sportsman, however, without anywhere near the kind of intelligence needed to pull this off (sort of like Jason Akermanis).

Before the Sydney test I read some articles about how he was rebuilding his reputation. Yes he was now a father. Congratulations to him, but I'm not sure that automatically makes you a better person. And, yes, he had scored a mountain of runs, but again that doesn't really mean his behaviour had improved. In the test series versus India he was fined for his behaviour in Adelaide and was involved in another incident in Melbourne.

Onto the Rohin Sharma incident. Sharma had the audacity to take an overthrow following a wayward throw from Warner. Warner, mistakenly, thought the ball had hit Sharma and that to do so was unsporting. However, Warner didn't politely make this point to Sharma, he did so aggressively. At some point he told Sharma to 'speak English'. Now it's not clear if Sharma had even spoken to Warner or if he was talking to his team mate. However if Sharma was speaking to his team mate, then Warner has no right to be telling Sharma what language he can or can not use.

Warner was fined half of his match fee for his actions (again in my view another inadequate punishment). What was worse was his justification for his actions. And in trying to defend himself completely forgot all about the rule of 'whatever happens on the field stays on the field'.

'I did the polite thing and asked him so speak in English, therefore he did and I can't repeat what he said'.

Errr Dave the polite thing would have not to have said anything at all to Sharma. But if you want to speak to him you could have politely done so and not confronted him an aggressive manner. And as for saying that you can't repeat what he said, you seem to be implying that Sharma used impolite language. Well Dave that is hardly surprising considering your actions.

'We've just not to try and cross that line, because we're all about playing cricket the right way'.

Errr no, you are about winning at almost any cost. You're about about trying to get away with as much as you can, and then when you do cross that line where your behaviour is considered unacceptable by most people, you are about not apologising. When you push so close to the line, that line will inevitably be crossed at times. And fines are just an occupational hazard.

'When I went over to say something to him. he sort of said something in their language, and I said 'speak English' because, if you're going to say something, understand that theoretically I cannot speak Hindi'.

Oh dear. Once again Dave has used a 50 cent word by using 'theoretically'. So I'm not sure if Dave is saying that theoretically he can not speak Hindi, but in practice he does. Or if he has just misused the word. I think it's safe to assume it was the latter. Dave, please stop. You've already embarrassed us by insulting a guest of this country, now you're just embarrassing yourself.

Still you are averaging over 48 in test cricket with a strike rate of almost 75 and along with Steve Smith you are the favourite to win the next Allan Border Medal. So apart from the occupational hazard of a few more fines you'll be unlikely to receive any other penalties. Actually Dave you should check if those fines could be considered as tax deductions for being a legitimate work expense.


Young and (not) Free

Indonesia executed 6 people convicted of drug offences about a week ago. Now drug smugglers/dealers don't get much public sympathy (and rightly so). As a group possibly only paedophiles and child murderers get less public sympathy.

Included in the 6 people who were executed were a Brazilian & Dutch national. So Indonesia has shown that is prepared to execute foreign nationals. Australia has 2 people on death row in Indonesia.

Now the story of how they were arrested in Indonesia is an interesting one. Lee Rush was concerned about a trip his son Scott was making to Indonesia. Lee contacted a lawyer who in turn contacted the Australian Federal Police (AFP) to inform Scott was probably involved in a drug smuggling scheme. They were informed if Scott tried to fly to Indonesia he would be stopped from flying there.

Now to cut a long story short the AFP did not stop Scott or the other 8 members of the drug group. Instead they let them fly there and tipped of the Indonesian police about what was happening. Now 2 Australians are on death row.

The number one priority of any government is to protect the citizens of its country. That means protecting our borders from being attacked; trying to protect citizens in the country from attacks, discrimination, unfair prosecutions etc; and defending the rights of Australian citizens who find themselves in trouble overseas. The second priority is the management of the economy and public institutions such as hospitals and schools.

Here we had the AFP actively helping a foreign government in putting Australian lives as risk, rather than protecting Australian lives. Mick Keelty, the former head of the AFP has a lot to answer for. And if I was responsible for writing the laws of this land he would have to answer for what he did.


So on January 26 happy Australia Day/Invasion Day to all Australians, including Freya Newman, Tony Abbott, Dave Warner, Myuran Sukumaran, Andrew Chan and Mick Keelty.

And happy Republic Day to all Indians. Especially you to you Rohit Sharma. And feel free to speak as much Hindi as you want.